i don't like being forgotten. i went through some of my old inbox messages on facebook and i noticed a pattern in the conversations i had with my high school friends. that none of them replied after my messages. i know i am being paranoid here but...if you're going to ignore me after i say something then please, don't bother including me in anything. it hurts to know that everyone is telling everyone else that they miss each other and the old times and i am never part of it. as far as i am concerned, i no longer want to have anything to do with high school, be it friends, events or memories. i can do with a little less pain and hurt in my life.

on the other hand, i wonder if you know that you're all that is on my mind right now? the more i think the more confused i get. i wonder what would happen if i really confronted you with my feelings. a few people are pushing me to tell you so i can get closure and suffer less. but i will suffer more if i heard the word 'no' from you. so i will keep it this way; live with the constant pain of wondering about 'what-if's.